How to: Mentally Prep For Your Appointment When You’re Anxious AF

We understand many of you have had bad experiences in the chair.

From trims turning into a major chop to feeling like the stylist just talked about themselves the whole time, we’ve heard the many reasons why you didn’t go back. This is why it’s important to set eachother up for success.

While it is completely normal to be anxious about putting your looks in the hands of someone else, we also know that “backseat driving” a hair appointment can end up a terrible experience for both the stylist and the client.

What is back seat driving a hair appointment?
It’s quite like backseat driving in a car, the person who isn’t in control is trying to completely control the driving experience, usually nit picking at minute details in an aim to feel more secure.

In a hair setting it can look & sound like this:
While the hair color is being applied:
” This isn’t going to be too dark right? Maybe we should go lighter…”

While mixing the formula:
” I love my hair when so & so did it in the past and they always do XYZ so please do what they did..”

It’s often these little misplaced remarks, during times where it’s actually too late to change the chosen direction.

I’m not talking about consultation time when we get to know each other and what we like/dislike. I’m talking about, WE have decided on a final plan & now you are second guessing yourself and us.

So here is a simple way to approach a salon/stylist when you’re anxious about being disappointed. Assuming you’ve done your research and found a stylist or salon that fits your aesthetic stick to these 3 rules…

Consult, Confirm, Affirm!


  1. Consult
    • On a separate day from you’re appointment so you don’t feel any time constraints.
    • Have photos, specifically of your hair history, liked & disliked looks as well as your future goal.
  2. Confirm
    • Repeat what you hear as the final plan & ask what variables might be at play. Get specific on prices, time frame, maintenance etc.
    • Make it known where your boundaries are …
      (ex: I prefer too dark than not dark enough, I prefer lighter than darker, I’m willing to be lighter even if it means warmer, I prefer ashier even if that means it will turn out darker than my desired look)
  3. Affirm
    • Remember why you chose this stylist/salon in the first place
    • Trust your initial gut instinct
    • Affirm to yourself : “I can pull off any look. I am confident enough to rock whatever this turns out to be. It WILL work for me because I choose how I feel about me. “

To be honest, a lot of the responsibility falls on the stylist to ask the right questions, do strand tests, and find the best look that suits your lifestyle BUT a well prepped client helps us go deeper and understand better 🙂

Thanks for reading!
Share your thoughts below 🙂



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